Following the death of his beloved wife, a widowed father found a second chance at love with his fiancée. But during a family dinner, she made a joke about his late wife that profoundly disturbed him and his children. This incident forced him to make a difficult decision about their future together.
On October 13, 2023, an anonymous male poster turned to the “AITAH” subreddit to share his story. He provided some background details about his life, starting with the fact that he was a father to two children, Sam, 21, and Liz, 16, from his late wife Kayla. The man, 43, lost his wife when their kids were 15 and 10 years old, respectively.
Kayla was a victim of a drunk driving accident on her way home from work. Her loss had a profound impact on the family, and the widowed father made a personal vow not to enter the dating scene for a few years, prioritizing the well-being of his children.
Three years after his wife’s passing, the man met a woman referred to as Amanda. Their relationship progressed at a cautious pace, and he waited a year before introducing her to his children. By that time, he and Amanda had been together for three years and had gotten engaged.
Liz remained silent, refusing to communicate with her father or Amanda since that night.
Although Amanda had initially shown insecurity about the man’s past with his late wife, questioning hypothetical scenarios, he responded by emphasizing the importance of their current relationship over dwelling on “what ifs.” Eventually, Amanda stopped making such comments, and the man found relief from his initial concerns about the situation.
Everything seemed to be going well for the couple until the man’s parents invited them over for dinner to celebrate their engagement. The gathering included the man’s parents, his late wife’s sister and her husband, Sam, Liz, and of course, him and Amanda.
Initially, the atmosphere during the dinner was warm and friendly. The conversation flowed smoothly, including casual topics as well as the engaged couple’s wedding plans. However, the pleasant ambiance was shattered when the man’s mother made a seemingly innocent remark about his ability to find a similar spark with Amanda as he had with his late wife, Kayla.
While this comment might have gone unnoticed, Amanda’s response changed everything. She shockingly laughed and uttered, “I’m happy she died, otherwise I would have never gotten him to myself.” The room fell into an abrupt, uncomfortable silence. Everyone, especially the kids, became visibly tense.
Amanda seemed to realize the impact of her words and attempted to salvage the situation with forced laughter as if trying to pass off her comment as a joke. The man, caught off guard and deeply disturbed by Amanda’s statement, found himself unable to react.
His children, particularly Liz, expressed disgust, prompting her to leave the table and head out to the car. Sam hesitated, waiting for his dad to respond, but the man remained speechless, still processing the shock of Amanda’s words.
In the aftermath of the disastrous dinner, the widowed man bid farewell to his family, ushering Amanda away from the tense atmosphere. As the car pulled away, the weight of the evening hung heavily in the air. Days passed, and the rift between the father, his daughter Liz, and Amanda grew. Liz remained silent, refusing to communicate with her father or Amanda since that night.
Feeling the strain on his family, the father sought counsel from his son, Sam. In their conversation, Sam expressed a sentiment that echoed his sister’s feelings—he didn’t want someone in their lives who could speak so disrespectfully about their late mother. Sam’s words resonated deeply with the man, planting seeds of doubt about his relationship with Amanda.
Now torn between his love for Amanda and his responsibility towards his children, the man grappled with a difficult decision. He pondered the potential future impact of Amanda’s words on his family, especially on his daughter Liz. Fueled by a desire to do right by his kids, he contemplated calling off the wedding, fearing that overlooking this incident might set a troubling precedent.
In this emotionally charged situation, the father sought advice from others, hoping for outside perspectives to guide his decision-making. He faced a moral dilemma: Would he be wrong if he chose to end his engagement with Amanda because of the hurtful comment she made, prioritizing his family’s well-being above all else?
In the first update to his original post, the man shared how he waited for Amanda to leave for work before urgently calling his son to come over. Sam, a college student living nearby, joined his sister in the living room for a serious conversation. The father told them plainly that the wedding with Amanda was off, emphasizing that her comment was utterly unacceptable. He also apologized to his children, expressing deep regret for not addressing the issue earlier.
During the conversation, the man’s daughter shared her disgust at Amanda’s comment and revealed that she felt Amanda had been gradually trying to push her and her brother away. She cited instances where Amanda had encouraged her brother to move out for college. She also recalled Amanda pushing her to attend an out-of-state college, contrary to her wishes. Both kids expressed feeling like Amanda was attempting to create distance between them and their father.
Realizing the gravity of the situation, the father acknowledged his children’s concerns and apologized for not noticing sooner. He reassured them that they were his top priority and that he would always be there for them. The conversation was emotionally charged, lasting for about two hours, as they discussed their concerns and fears openly.
In the end, the father firmly decided to end his relationship with Amanda. He made sure to convey to his children that none of this was their fault and that Amanda was solely responsible for her actions. While his children weren’t entirely back on his side yet, he was okay with that, prioritizing their comfort and well-being above all else.
He planned to have a conversation with Amanda and confront his mother about why she felt the need to talk about Kayla at the dinner. While he sorted out things with Amanda, the man asked his daughter to stay with his brother to avoid the impending confrontation, determined to ensure his home remained a safe and supportive environment for his kids.
In the aftermath of the dinner incident, OP took decisive action. He reached out to his mother to discuss the situation and found out that she felt guilty for her comment about Kayla. Armed with the advice from online comments, he recorded his confrontation with Amanda, during which he questioned her about her hurtful remarks and manipulative behavior towards his children.
Sadly, the conversation with Amanda did not go well. Despite his emotional honesty, Amanda appeared indifferent until he told her they were done. In a shocking revelation, she expressed resentment about housing someone else’s kids for life, referring to the man’s children, Sam and Liz, from his late wife, Kayla.
Angered and deeply hurt by Amanda’s insensitive comment, the man became all the more resolute in his decision and asked her to leave. Amanda, tearful and regretful, went to stay with a friend, and the man made it clear she was not welcome back.
Though devastated, the widowed dad prioritized his children. He assured them of their home’s welcome embrace, allowing his son to move back in if he wished. Despite his lingering feelings for Amanda, he resolved to focus on his family. Grateful for the online support, he was determined to mend his relationship with his children and move forward, taking one step at a time to make things right with his family.
Do you think the father did the right thing by prioritizing his family and calling off his wedding with Amanda?